she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize