took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
