Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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