Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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