I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just sent this text using only my big toe
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize