I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
don't judge my taste in strippers
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
