What did we do last night that was yellow?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
