your room smells of hookers.
And success
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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