you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
