Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
