Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
