Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
