Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
