im drinking this country out of the recession.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
