Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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