Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
of course. lets lasso hookers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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