elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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