He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
