So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize