what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
