i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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