In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
