i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ladies don't puke and tell
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
