I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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