Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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