We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
someone owes me an orgasm
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
