People in love make me want to vomit
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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