We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize