Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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