I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
