he shaved USA in his pubs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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