I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
