im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
