Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
