forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
