Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
