Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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