My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
