I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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