Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
