I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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