I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
