it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So many bounce houses so little time
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
