There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
