i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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