He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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