Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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