sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
