I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
