so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize