hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
