omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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