don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
