I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
