She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
