Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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