My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
