I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize