if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
