When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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