Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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