I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
