I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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