the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
