Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
