mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize