remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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