I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
