no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
