Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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