Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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