I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
