Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
