If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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