So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think your dad took our porno
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
