I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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