Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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