Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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