There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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