Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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