tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
