So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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