She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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