I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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